Shortly after the Activation of The Gate of Perception, I became aware of a feeling of anger beginning to stir within me. At about that same time, I unwittingly chose to step onto a path that would bring together “the perfect storm” of cooperative components that would fuel that discernable tiny flame of anger into a bonfire of rage and finally a volcano of fury.
I was aware of what was happening within me. I kept watching it becoming larger and engulfing me even more. However, as much as I was aware of it and observed it, I could not find the words to articulate what was unfolding within me because I could not pinpoint the source. I had not yet reached the bottom of the abyss that was fueling what I did not yet understand to be the first phase of an inevitable transfiguration of epoch proportions.
The volcano erupted yesterday.
I’m not arguing! I’m having a meltdown!!
For those of you who, like me, are on the Autism Spectrum, or know someone who is, you will understand what those conscious words, “I’m having a meltdown,” in a moment of deep unconsciousness mean. They are a desperate plea for help. Sadly, a measure of help that was not forthcoming.
Yes, I should have packed up my things and gone home. However, I couldn’t do that for myself. As I said, a meltdown is the manifestation of your most unconscious state-of-being. You are literally outside of yourself watching yourself crumble to pieces. No one in this arena of autism “experts” seemed to recognize it. No one else was conscious enough to say, “It’s okay for you to go home. Let me help you pack up your things and load up your car.” Instead, today I was told, “You’re angry and mean and are making everyone else feel badly.”
Cue the fury of lava once more.
This time, however, by the Grace of the Goddess, the river of righteous indignation that was rising up within me was soothed by some clarity around the anger, rage and fury that I had not been able to perceive before. And here we are, in the Gate of Communication, just one week before the Activation of the Gate of Compassion (4/27/2022) and ten days before the 2nd eclipse on the Taurus/Scorpio axis (4/30/2022). Perfect timing to facilitate the transfiguration.
This is the Core Wound that could finally be seen (Gate of Perception) and heard (Gate of Communication) by me:
My needs are dismissed. My needs are unmet. Everyone else’s needs are more important than mine. I’m not allowed to have any needs.
Sofia Mona Lisa
It’s not like I hadn’t tried to help myself before the volcano erupted. I had! I had booked a quantum healing session with Paula Simone for April 26th. And, I had participated in an Emotional Healing Body workshop with Alphedia Arara this past Saturday ~ the day of the Full Moon in Libra. I can see now that the Emotional Healing Body work that I did then had cleared the pathway for the volcano to flow. It needed to be able to flow. “Flow’ is a distinctly Sacred Feminine word.
So, once again in a state of desperation around my insights into the Core Wound presenting itself, I turned to The Divine Feminine Oracle, and I asked Sophia, Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene to give me a healing message for this wound.
When I saw Sekhmet’s face on the card, I nearly burst into tears. I am pure strength. I honor my anger by giving voice to it. (Sekhmet, Meggan Watterson) Finally, a soft place to land. Someone who was seeing me and hearing me. Someone who would protect me and defend me.
Sekhmet represents the sacred rage that keeps us protected and reminds the world of the pure strength of female power. … Holy rage, sacred anger, and positive aggression – these states of being are crucial aspects of the divine feminine. It’s the female power that … seeks justice for the earth and for those who can’t defend themselves. … [Sekhmet] wants us to create the healthy boundaries we need so we aren’t injured again and again. Or so that we can free ourselves from a destructive pattern it’s time to end. We have a divine right to draw a sacred circle around us at all times.
Meggan Watterson, The Divine Oracle: Sekhmet
I have a unique relationship with the Goddess Sekhmet. She is in my 7th house of Relationships in the sign of Capricorn (healthy boundaries) and conjunct the Sun which fuels my female power (Sekhmet).
Today, Sekhmet (Holy Rage) in the Sky is standing at 28° Aries in a square to Yeshua (Embodiment of Christ Consciousness) at 28° Cancer. As I have often said, an astrological square is an opportunity for a breakthrough in consciousness. This square is invoking the Archetype of the Fierce Protector. Thank you, Sekhmet and Yeshua for providing the Emotional Healing (Cancer) that Self-Love (Aries) brings to this Core Wound.
Abraham-Hicks says the question that we rarely ask of ourselves is, “Am I willing to give myself permission to have what I want?” and the answer is almost always a resounding, “NO, not quite yet, for all of these reasons …” Personally, I would substitute the word “want” in the above quote with the word “need.” Only we can give ourselves permission to have needs and to have what we need. The Gift of HOLY RAGE from the Goddess Sekhmet is reminding of us of that. Further, Sekhmet is reminding me that when I become aware of the Sacred Anger/Holy Rage rising up within me, it is a signal to me (the fire alarm) that a deep wound is desiring to be seen and heard by me. Now, I can consciously choose to engage the Sacred Anger/Holy Rage from this level of awareness without allowing it to take me over and take me down.
This is the destructive pattern I have recognized that it’s time to end for me. In all of my relationships, I am perceived to be THE tower of strength ~ their tower of strength. I am expected to be strong for everyone else by supporting them and their needs. How dare I, in my own humanity, have a moment of “weakness” that requires them to be supportive of me? There is no balance. There is no reciprocity. There is no conscious equal partnership. Time and again, I have drawn and redrawn the Sacred Circle around me ~ a perpetual exercise in setting new boundaries and creating stronger old boundaries. It has become a sort of spiritual practice, or Sadhana, for me. It seems that each time I actively do so, I am once again vilified and accused of “emotionally abandoning” them for having the courage to keep myself safe. They refuse to stand in their own sovereignty, as I seek to stand firmly in my own.
The truth is that this Core Wound is not just about me. It is in the Collective Consciousness of Humanity. It exists within the Heart of every person. This specific Patriarchal wounding of the Feminine Principle was created by stripping the voice of the Feminine and suppressing the Feminine to such an extent that it could no longer be seen on the planet, and this Core Wound is now rising up to be healed. The needs of the Feminine Principle to feel safe and supported (seen and heard) are just as valid as the needs of the Masculine Principle. This Core Wound is an as yet unidentified emotional crippling that has kept Humanity subservient to the authority and power of those who control and manipulate the sheeple.
This healing must take place, and it is taking place through me. It is very likely taking place through you too. I am a conduit of The Great Mother. She is the lineage (Moon in Cancer) that I come from. With Her placement in my 12th house, one of my primary roles as an Embodiment of The Great Mother is to transmute the emotional wounds that bind Humanity and prevents Humanity from fully Ascending. This is the Cosmic Justice that the Goddess Sekhmet is dispensing at this time.
Yesterday, the Goddess of Sacred Relationship (Juno) moved into the sign of Unconditional Love (Pisces). Each one of us MUST be able to hold the space of Unconditional Love for ourselves first before we can offer it to others. By enacting our Divine Right to draw the Sacred Circle around ourselves, we are practicing Unconditional Love for ourselves. We are meeting our own needs first. Yet, we are not islands amongst Humanity. We can expect others to honor and meet our needs when, in our Humanity, we are unable to do so for ourselves. This makes us human and allows them to be Divine by offering us Grace. This dance of being human and allowing divinity is a fundamental part of being in Conscious Equal Partnership. Juno in Pisces is emotionally supporting us in being able to BE IN CONSCIOUS EQUAL PARTNERSHIP with Source as the Sophia-Christ Consciousness, with ourselves and with others.
So much shifting is taking place right now in preparation for the Activation of the Gate of Compassion (Heart Chakra). Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you navigate these tumultuous inner waves.
Much love,
Sofia Mona Lisa
Alchemical Creation High Priestess
©SOL SPEAKS™, The Golden Ray Center, Inc. 2022
“A High Priestess is one who has developed her capacities to work with larger fields of consciousness and energy than a priestess.” ~ Nicole Christine, Under Her Wings: The Making of a Magdalene
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